I haven't been sleeping well, ever since Saturday, when Kelsey Smith was abducted from our local Target store.
I'm haunted by the image of a beautiful young woman bopping out to the parking lot with a roll of gift wrap and a bag of presents, completely unaware that her life was about to end.
I think about the little boy with the pinwheel (see my May 20 post), and I wonder if innocence and trust are set-ups in a violent world.
I think about babies in Africa and old people in New Orleans and how the slow violence of neglect steals their lives away.
I worry about the mothers' sons and daughters whose innocence is stolen in the name of Iraqi "freedom."
I'm tormented by the face of Kelsey's suspected killer, believing that at some point he, too, was an innocent.
I think about the day twenty years ago when new neighbors moved into the house behind us. She had a brand new baby, and after introducing myself to her, I touched the baby's curly hair and said, "Look at him. He's just perfect."
The new mom turned on her heel and snipped, "Well! Scripture clearly states that we're all born into sin."
I've been mocking my neighbor ever since for that comment, but when human beings are horrible, I start to wonder if she was on to something.
Are all of us humans intrinsically bad people? Or just some of us? Or do we all start out okay and then regress morally, some of us more than others? is it like a big Roy Rogers or Star Wars episode, and the whole point is for the good guys to vanquish the bad guys? How does that happen? Is it true that all we need is love? Will love change the heart of a damaged, violent, murderous soul?
I'm at a loss. And now I'm trying to wrap this up with some kind of hopeful thought.
Maybe my blogfriends can help?